TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series
by Rav3r
Summary: crack fic. Naruto and Hinata have a random sense of humor. very funny and very random. the two live to annoy. crack fic with mentions of romance later on.
1. AHHHHH!

Yup it's me again, a new series coming your way ;) this'll be a funny series, and will have little to no drama. Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema LeeTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...

This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.

Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series

Book: lol

Chapter: AHHHH!!

It was a quiet day in Konoha, the only noise being made were from the birds. It was a Saturday, a day academy students have off to do what they want. The majority of them all still in bed... except of course...

"AHHH! STOP POKING ME!" Sasuke shouted as he began to tear at his hair from the amounts of stress he's under.

"AHHH!!"

"AHHHH!... why did you scream?!"

"AHHHHHH!!"

"AHHHHH!!"

"Shut up the both of you!!" Sakura interjected as she was close to hitting the two twelve year olds.

"SQUID!!"

"SHUT UP NARUTO!!" Sakura screeched as she slapped Naruto around the back of the head. Sasuke smirked until he got slapped around the back of the head.

"Ahhhhh! Why'd you do that?!" Sasuke asked as Sakura began to lose patience.

"You shouldn't have laughe..." Sakura didn't get to finish.

"AHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed before he was nailed in the face, sent air born with a scared Sasuke watching.

"E-easy now Sakura..." Sasuke said as he backed away from Sakura, whose fists were clenched tightly, a big vein appearing on her forehead.

Before Sakura could reply an unrelated pirate decided to braid his beard while passing by.

Sasuke and Sakura were too surprised to notice Naruto was following Ino, poking her as she walked.

"GO AWAY NARUTO!!" Ino screamed as she tried her best to ignore it

"AHHHHH!"

"AHHHH!"

"AGHHHH!!"

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?!"

"AHHHH!"

"AHHHHHH!"

"LOOK!" Naruto shouted while pointing behind Ino

"WHERE?!" Ino asked, highly confused.

"NOOO!"

"WHAT?!"

"SQUID!!"

"SQUID?!"

"AHHHH!"

"AHHHHH!!"

Ino began to ran as she became paranoid, Naruto looked at Choji, holding his face in the palms of his hands.

"CHOJI!"

"what?"

"THERE!!"

"where?!"

"WHERE'S THE CHAPSTICK?!"

"WHAT?!

"WE NEED TO FIND IT!"

"HUH?!"

"CHOJI!!"

"..."

"I LOVE YOU CHOJI!!"

Choji: - :o

"WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE?!" Naruto said as he feinted crying.

Choji proceeded to walk away silently, a tick above his eyebrow as he DEFFINATLY needed some TLC... some Tender Lamb Chops... that is.

"my god... he's too hyper this morning..." Kakashi said as he appeared from nowhere.

"KAKASHI! NARWHALS!" Naruto shouted with big white eyes.

"wha..."

"RAPE!!"

"WHAT?!"

"DUCK!!"

"STOP SCRE..."

"DUCK!!"

"SHUT UP!"

"AHHHHH!!"

"AHHH!"

Kakashi slapped Naruto upside the head and cleared his throat.

"Naruto... number one, you're a juvenile retard who has no sophistication or understanding of social up holdings... number two...

"TWOOOO!!"

"I give up..."

"DON'T GIVE UP!!"

"NARUTO! I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!" Sakura shouted as she was beginning to lose her patience.

"TWO CAMMELS IN A TINY CAR!"

"I'm... speechless..." Sakura said as she looked down. the last retort completely winning the argument.

"BUG! BUG! BUG! BUG! BUGGY BUG! BUGGY BUG BUG BUG! BUGZY BOO BOO BUUUUUUUG!" came the soft shouts of a female voice. the group turned to see Hinata annoying the hell out of Shino.

"SQUID!" Naruto shouted as he point an accusing finger at Kiba, who was with Hinata and Shino. Kiba just ignored him as he looked away from the two.

"WHERES THE SQUID!?" Hinata shouted as she began running around in a circle.

"EUROPEAN SQUID!!" Naruto screamed as he pointed at Kiba, who grew a tick above his right eye.

"SQUID!!" both Naruto and Hinata repeated over and over as they threw pineapples at Kiba who was growing annoyed quickly.

"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?!" Kiba shouted in anger as Naruto and Hinata gasped.

"IT CAN TALK!!" Naruto shouted as Hinata casually shoved a chocolate cake in his face

"WHAT. THE. HELL?!" Kiba shouted as he chased both Naruto and Hinata who were running, arms flapping behind their head in an anime style run.

"what are we going to do with them?" Kakashi asked as he sighed in exasperation.

O

O

**Yup... love it, hate it, I'll write more, and longer next time, I just did this cause i was bored and your mom was out of town ;)**

**I kid, i kid. There's bound to be some flamers, all I can say is that if you didn't find this funny, then you're a boring person ;)**

**I am truly a random person, and I needed to vent. This story was made at 2AM meaning I didn't put much work into it...**

**Reviews plz ;)**


	2. SQUID!

**Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...**

**This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.**

**Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series**

**Book: lol**

**Chapter: SQUID!!**

Naruto and Hinata's group were travelling down a forest road, their destination was the capital city of the fire countries domain. Kakashi had ear plugs in, while Kurenai forgot hers.

"You bastard..." Naruto glared at the back of Kiba's head.

"Stop calling me a bastard Naruto!" Kiba shouted in anger as he continued to wipe the remnants of Hinata's chocolate cake from his face.

"How can you look at yourself in the mirror..." Hinata said sending the exact same glare as Naruto towards Kiba.

"WHAT?! Why would you say that Hinata?!" Kiba asked as he felt the stress pouring off of himself already.

"You sicken me..." Naruto continued as Kiba sighed and continued walking, deciding to pay no attention to the two random ninjas.

"YOU ATE MY MAILBOX!!" Hinata screamed as she started slapping Kiba silly, while screaming for no reason.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!?" Kiba shouted as he ran away from the two juvenile delinquents.

"Hey, Sakura..." Sasuke spoke slowly as he caught her attention. "Why are we friends with him again?"

"I don-..." Sakura was saying but was interrupted by a frantic Hinata.

"SHHHH! you'll wake the Umu..." Hinata shouted as Naruto and Hinata began crawling across the floor.

"We gottta be sneaky Hinata!"

"sneaky!" Hinata concurred.

"sneeeaaaky!" Naruto said as he continued to crawl along the floor, the entire group trying to ignore them.

"Why are yo-..." Shino was interrupted.

"RIVERSIDE MOTHA FOCKER!!" the two teens then started to rave to imaginary music. The group looked on at them in fascination as the two started to hum to an imaginary tune.

"wha...?" yet again Shino was interrupted.

"I JIZZED RIGHT IN MY PANTS EVERY TIME YOUR NEXT TO ME!"

"WHA...?!"

"AND WHEN WE'RE HOLDING HANDS, IT'S LIKE HAVING SEX WITH ME!"

"..."

"YOU JUST CALL IT PREMATURE, I JUST CALL IT ECSTASY!"

"I'm not even going to ask what song their singing..." Kiba said as the others nodded and continued on their way to the capital city.

While they were walking Naruto and Hinata continued to throw pine cones at Akamaru who growled the entire time.

"Woof!" Naruto shouted loudly.

"Woof!" Hinata said in retaliation.

"Woof!" Akamaru barked as he turned around growling at the two.

"Hinata! Watch out for the bleh bleh bleh!" Naruto shouted as he began to beat Akamaru with a cucumber.

Before Kiba could intervene a cowboy casually strolled down a Japanese road eating yoghurt.

Kiba looked on in astonishment, a cowboy in feudal japan?! The cow boy greeted the group with a shuffle of his texas hat.

By the time this had all happened, Akamaru was tied up to a tree while Naruto and Hinata danced around it, singing in tongue.

Kiba, this time, stepped in and untied his traumatised dog, who sat atop Kiba's head quietly for the rest of the trip.

The trip went by with relative silence as the two most random ninjas had tired themselves out. That is until they hit a crossroads...

"The map says we must take the pathway to the right." Kurenai said as she waited for Kakashi's answer.

"Well, I have been to the capital a few times before now, i'm sure we have to take the left pathway..." Kakashi answered in a bored tone as he watched Naruto lick Hinata's cheek randomly.

"i don't believe that-..." Kurenai didn't get to continue as she was interrupted... again, by the troublesome twosome.

"SHUN THE NONE BELIEVER!" Naruto shouted as he began to throw packets of Kool Aid at Kurenai

"SHUUUUN!" Hinata shouted as she threw Akamaru at Kurenai, followed by her last squid.

"SHUUUUUUUUUUN!!"

"SHUUUN!"

"Guys..."

"YOU DARE BLASPHEME AGAINST MY RELIGION?!" Hinata shouted as she slapped Sasuke repeatedly, who was used to this and let Hinata continue to beat him and cry.

Before the matter could escalade, a travelling Kiwi happened to stop at the crossroads. (not the fruit Kiwi!)

"If you're looking to go to the fire nation's capital, then take the road to your right." The man said as he acted the part of a random plot-line development.

"My good sir, would you be interested in purchasing a squid by chance?" Naruto asked in a normal voice, shocking many.

"Actually, yes I would..." the travelling Kiwi said as he brought out his wallet.

"...

...

...

THEN GO TO A FISH SALESMAN!" Naruto shouted as Hinata casually smothered the man's face in a freshly cut melon.

No more needed to be said as the man walked away slowly with a shocked visage, a single tear rolling down his face.

"Why... why was it a melon...?" he asked himself before he could begin to sob.

"Ok, so I was right, we follow the road to the right..." Kurenai said as she smiled sickly sweat at Kakashi, not wanting to admit he was wrong.

The group continued on their way to the capital city of the land of fire.

**Lol... some funny stuff here... can anyone point out any quotations i've used in both chapters of this story? I won't say till next chapter... ;)**

**The songs used were:**

**Riverside**

**Jizz in my pants (lmfao)**

**Yeah, first is a beasty song, the second is really funny ;) and suggestions for random things happening in this story are welcome ;) and btw, don't worry, other people will become random with time... don't worry ;)**


	3. SQUIDKUN!

**Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...**

**This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.**

**Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series**

**Book: lol**

**Chapter: SQUID-KUN**

"squid-Kuuuun!" Naruto cooed

"squid-Chaaaaan!" Hinata chimed with a stretched suffix.

"squid-Samaaaaa!" Naruto bowed to a dead squid he had thrown at the floor.

"squid-Donooooo!" Hinata said as she fell to the floor, and began licking the petrified squid.

it had been a long walk, and the group had arrived at their destination. the group were waiting outside a large palace, waiting for the fire lord and his wife to brief them.

"Naruto, Hinata, i expect the both of you to be on your best behaviours. if you cannot control your manic personalities i will have to restrain you both. am I understood?" Kakashi said in a lazy, yet firm tone as he hadn't looked away from his smut.

"the cow says meow?" Hinata inquired with a tilt head.

"the cow died..." Naruto said sadly.

"moo moo?" Hinata said, tears threatening to fall.

Kakashi sighed as he just walked away from the two.

"there was never a cow to begin with..." Kakashi said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"NUH-UH!" Hinata retorted back.

"THE COW IS A LIE!" Kakashi shouted angrily as he had just about enough of this.

"um... calm down spaz." Naruto said shaking his head.

"what was all that about? dumb ass..." Hinata said as she looked at Kakashi like he had just pulled a Childs temper tantrum.

"bu-bu-but i-i..." Kakashi never got to finish as the two walked away from him to a nearby tree.

"come on Kakashi-_Chan_ if you want it so badly I'll buy it for you." Naruto said with a condescending tone.

"buy me what?" Kakashi asked as he just felt like giving up.

"you see that Hinata, they beg for the item so much and so hard, but in the end, they just forget about it..." Naruto said as Hinata nodded her head as she sighed in exasperation.

Sasuke had actually found the scene quite humorous, Naruto had out smarted the Jonin with confusion.

"what item?! we were talking about a cow!" Kakashi yelled in despair.

"Kakashi... I'd appreciate it if you didn't shout. big boys don't shout. are you a big boy?" Hinata asked in a motherly tone.

"I'm like twice your age!" Kakashi shouted in disbelief. what the hell was happening?

"Naruto-Kun, Kakashi-Chan isn't listening to reason again..." Hinata said as she turned to Naruto who was nodding in agreement.

"the only plausible point of action is to castrate him..." Naruto said as Hinata agreed as the two pulled out a rusty hook and knife. Kakashi's eyes went wide as he didn't know if the two were joking or not. and didn't want to risk it. Kakashi ran as far away as he could, hiding somewhere within the mountains.

Naruto and Hinata gave up looking for him for now as the two continued to wait around for their permission to approach the fire lord.

the others acknowledged what had just happened and easily shrugged it off as insanity, and were glad they hadn't conversed with the two in place of Kakashi. the local guards however were petrified and held onto their manhood's, just for protection.

after a while, a small weasel like man answered the door, with a small groan of effort which sounded rather funny to the others, although they all managed to keep their laughter in. even Naruto and Hinata, as they had bigger plans, and ruining them at the door by laughing at this man wouldn't sit well with them at all.

the group followed the man who seemed to be a hunchback also to the fire lords throne, where they met the man and his wife.

the fire lord gave a slight bow to his guests, who all bowed back in respect. Naruto however pulled out a flute and began playing a tune.

the fire lords face lit up in shock as he didn't know how to address such an act. was it meant in offence? was it a sign of respect, in playing a song? was it some sort of moral that all the hidden leaf kept when greeting someone of great power?

Kurenai's face went pale as she held her breath. the others had hoped Naruto would behave himself. although they knew those hopes were placed into shallow water.

"umm... what intentions does your song bring?" the fire lord asked in a shocked inquisitive voice.

"my good sir, my intentions are in my pants." Naruto said as the fire lords wife gasped in shock.

"how dare you!" the pompous woman shouted in anger.

"wait! you have me all wrong! i was speaking about this song i wrote about the firelord!" Naruto shouted as he pulled out a piece of paper that was apparently his song. the two calmed down a bit and made a hand gesture for him to begin.

"I'd like to play a song I wrote. the song is called... paedophile-say-what."

"WHAT?!" the two shouted out in outrage.

"well, I have to respect your guts. admitting to being a paedophile in public. round of applause everyone!" Naruto said as he motioned to the crowd of onlookers, including the Konoha nins, the fire council, and the heirs to certain civilian clans.

"explain... yourself..."

"well... west Konoha born and raised, where the academy I spent most of my days, chillin out nice and relaxing all cool, and shootin' some Kunai..." Naruto was interrupted by an outraged yell of hatred.

"EITHER EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS AND INTENTIONS OR YOU WILL BE EXECUTED!!" the fire lord yelled loudly, the council had never seen him this enraged before.

"I would love to impregnate your wife." Naruto said as he took the cue to begin running. followed by a giggling Hinata, and a group of Konoha nins who looked like they were going to shit their pants.

"AFTER THEM!!" the fire lord yelled as the chase began. an entire city looking to kill the blond haired Genin.

O

O

**well, the words: lol, offensive, and wtf? come to mind.**

**well, hope you enjoyed this story, and if you're a serious writer, who isn't as crazy as I am, please check out my story challenge on my profile.**


	4. Shino, Shikamaru, Sasuke lol'd

**Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...**

**This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.**

**this chapter may seem offensive to some readers. it bashes homosexuals a little in this fic, although I assure you it isn't too heavy, and I am not a homosexual hater.**

**Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series**

**Book: lol**

**Chapter: Shino, Shikamaru, Sasuke lol'd**

"so...custard sex..." Naruto conversed.

"indeed..." Hinata scratched her chin in a thinking pose.

were the conversations of the two random ninjas, known as Naruto and Hinata.

"Shhh! be quite!" Kurenai hushed as she watched out for border patrols.

the group were hiding in an cave on top of the hills. the fire lords men walking by every now and then. the group were trapped and needed to find the right time to escape.

"I don't really care for silence..." Naruto said in a royal voice.

"nor do I..." Hinata chimed, still scratching her chin.

"would you care to be executed by the fire lords men?!" Kurenai shouted lowly.

Naruto thought about it for a while.

"I suppose I wouldn't." Naruto said as he poured himself a cup of tea, while the others wondered how the hell he had found a tea pot, hot watar, tea leaves, and tea cups in the middle of nowhere.

Naruto poured himself and Hinata a cup. the two slurping it as loud as they could in turns.

Sakura's blood was boiling over as she was near to exploding.

just before Sakura could speak however...

"SPLODE!!" Naruto screamed, pointing at Sakura who was taken aback by this outburst, Kurenai gulping as she noticed several patrols coming their way.

"run for it!" Kurenai shouted as the group ran for dear life.

"SQUUUUIIID-KUUUUUUN!!" Naruto and Hinata screamed as they ran.

the group were still running as they ran through the woodlands.

"OI!" Naruto shouted with a weird tone to his voice.

"COME 'ERE!" Naruto said, motioning Shikamaru to come to him with his index finger.

"THAT'S RIGHT!" Naruto said again as Shikamaru looked at him, waiting for the blonds question.

Naruto just smiled at him strangely for an entire ten minutes, the two not losing eye contact.

"what?" Shikamaru asked finally.

no response.

"what?!" Shikamaru asked in an irritated huff.

Naruto licked his lips slowly, creeping Shikamaru out.

"WHAT?!" Shikamaru shouted, showing the most enthusiasm he had ever shown before. Naruto pointed to his back.

Shikamaru looked at his back and his eyes went wide when he noticed a dead squids tentacle flailing about wildly. Shikamaru stopped and screamed like a girl as he threw the limb into the undergrowth.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Shikamaru asked with rage as he was going to have nightmares for a LONG time.

"are you putting attention on my disabilities?" Naruto asked with a sad face.

"wha...?"

"do you find sick pleasure in making fun of others faults and flaws?" Naruto asked a little angrily.

"how shallow are you?!" Hinata asked.

"but..." Shikamaru tried, his mouth opening and shutting rather fast.

Hinata took her shot as she pushed a dead squid into the gaping mouth of the Nara, who yanked the thing out and began chasing the two giggling idiots.

it was at this moment that Kurenai noticed a incapacitated Kakashi lying on the floor. she quickly went to his side, signalling the group to stop. the group stopped near the silver haired Jonin, all except the three mentioned prior.

Kurenai was healing him with her chakra as she knew that'd wake him up faster. Shikamaru finally gave up and sat down cross legged and slumped his head in his hands, sighing heavily. looking highly irate.

Naruto and Hinata meanwhile, had constructed a figure out of tree branches, and had dressed it up to look like Shkamaru, they even used a pineapple for a head. the leaves looking similar to Shikamaru's haircut.

the two tied the figure to a rope and lowered it down to about normal ground level, where Shikamaru just glared at the object.

"hey Sasuke!" Naruto shouted.

"what is it dobe?" Sasuke asked, dreading what the blond would scheme.

"it looks like Shikamaru borrowed your ass stick!" Naruto and Hinata chuckled.

"hey!!" Sasuke growled.

"hey! hey Sasuke!" Hinata shouted.

"what?!"

"duck."

"wha?.."

"DUCK!"

"..."

"DUCK!!"

"Hinata..."

"DUCK!!"

"Hinata!"

"DUCK!!"

"HINATA!"

"DUUUUCK!!"

"!"

Hinata responded by throwing a half eaten carrot at the Uchiha.

"CARROT DUCK!"

"ughhh..."

"hey! hey Sasuke!"

"WHAT?!"

"..."

"WHAT IS IT NARUTO?!"

"..."

"ughh..." Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"hey! hey Sasuke!"

"what is it?!"

"..."

"tell me wha!..." Sasuke was interrupted.

"Hey! hey Sasuke!"

"SHUT UP!! OH MY GOD SHUT UP! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THIS WORLD SHUT UP!!" Sasuke began pulling at his hair.

"hey, it doesn't look so much like a duck anymore..." Hinata said as she continued to throw carrots at the Uchiha, aiming for his hair.

"yeah... it looks more like a deformed gorilla's penis." Naruto said as Hinata nodded, as if seeing it instantly.

"how do you know what a deformed gorillas penis looks like?!" Sasuke asked as he tried to get a little revenge.

"because I met your mother once, remember?" Naruto asked as Sasuke began crying in hysteria. Sakura comforting him.

Neji began twitching. the madness, the stupidity... he couldn't take it much longer.

"so... how'd you loik dem mudkipz Neji?" Naruto asked as he noticed the twitching Hyuuga.

said Hyuuga just passed out, thinking it the best course of action.

"I guess he doesn't like Pokémon..." Shino answered.

"Pokémon's gay, you fagget..." Naruto said.

"wha..."

"calm down bummer boy, I'm only wearing shorts.

"that's offensive..."

"whoa whoa whoa, why'd you ask me if I wanted to have hot sweaty bum sex with you? that's a little forward, I'd like a date first please."

"quit it..." Shino said, showing some forms of emotion.

"oi! sailor boy! get back into your closet mate!" Naruto said.

"Naruto, stop it now." Shino said, his face getting redder and redder.

"you're the last person I'd like to be in a jail shower room with!"

"Naruto..."

"when did you join the navy?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Shino shouted as he hit Naruto as hard as he could, sending him over a few tree lines.

afterward Shino was breathing heavily, his face showing his previous rage, and his satisfaction of beating Naruto. Shino cracked his neck as he sighed out happily.

"I am not homosexual!" Shino shouted out as Naruto returned, nursing a bruise.

"hey, you make it sound like a bad thing... why be such a hater? do you hate other peoples so much you resort to hate crimes? you should be ashamed of yourself..." Naruto said as Shino gritted his teeth.

"you were the one calling me homosexual! you used many deeply offensive terms used to stereotype an entire group of people!" Shino shouted angrily.

"all right babe, didn't need your life's story." Naruto said as Shino was beginning to lose his sanity.

"why the hell did you call me babe?!" Shino asked, even though he didn't want to know.

"cause your my girlfriend." Naruto answered casually.

" WHAT?!"

"are you breaking up with me?" Naruto asked in mock sadness.

"yes!... I mean!... we were never together in the first place!"

"oh that's a relief, I thought you were breaking up with me!" Naruto said as slung an arm around Shino's neck.

"we were never together!" Shino said as he rejected Naruto's hand.

"then how come i'm pregnant?! aren't you going to take responsibility and care for the baby?!"

"WE NEVER HAD SEX! AND IT'S IMPOSIBLE FOR A GUY TO IMPREGNATE ANOTHER GUY!" Shino shouted angrily.

"then it's a miracle!" Naruto shouted with joy.

"Ughhh!!" Shino sighed before punching the blond, knocking him out. Shino followed the blond to sleep by passing out soon after.

Hinata cudlled up to Naruto as she slept on him, the entire group actually surprised by this. the two only seemed to be friends...

O

O

well, I'd be happier if more of you REVIEWED! I like making this story and all, but I need feedback and reviews telling me what they did and didn't like, so I may learn.

sorry for the offence I may have issued in this chapter. I meant it all in good sport. I'm all for gay marriage and stuff, I see nothing wrong with their life styles. I just thought it'd be funny to use against Shino


	5. Gravy 1one!

**Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...**

**This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.**

**Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series**

**Book: lol**

**Chapter: Gravy?!1one?!1**

Neji awoke to the sounds of chirping birds, he exited his make-shift tent, only to stare wide eyed at the sight of a greasy chip pan, held in mid air by a wire connecting to the trees above.

"greasy grease grease!" Hinata exclaimed.

"THE STROODLE OF MY ANCESTORS WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN!!!!1!!one!!1!" Naruto proclaimed as he threw numerous ladles of gravy at Neji, who hid in his tent as the greasy gravy hit the sides of his tent every now and again.

Neji trembled in fear as he curled up into a tight ball.

"HIASHI-SAMA! HELP ME!" Neji cried as he sat there, flinching every time a grease ball hit his tent.

Lee was currently returning from a jogging session, he noticed both Naruto and Hinata throwing balls of grease and gravy at Neji's tent. He pondered what this was about and decided to question them.

"Excuse me Naruto, Hinata, may I inquire as to what the two of you are doing?" Lee asked politely.

"We're chronically masturbating to the sounds of grand pappy' o joe. Do you mind?!" Naruto shouted in retort.

Lee backed away slowly, very slowly...

Sasuke had decided to get up and investigate where the sounds were coming from, and why they were being made.

As Sasuke opened his tent a bucket full of freezing water dropped onto him.

"NARUTO!!" Sasuke shouted angrily.

Naruto turned around slowly, doing the epic gopher look.

Sasuke had charged in his rage, and was about to punch Naruto, but before he could achieve such a task, he triped on a dead squid, sprawling out on the floor.

"The sight hundreds and thousands of fan girls will chronically masturbate to tonight, eh Hinata?"

"ZING!" Hinata chimed.

"Hey! Don't make Sasuke out to be a piece of meat!" Sakura shouted angrily.

"OI!!"

"WHA..."

"WE'LL HAVE LESS!" Naruto said in a weird voice.

"Less of wha..."

"Shhhhhh..."

"Naruto! don't tell me to...!"

"SHHHHHHHHH!!" Naruto exclaimed loudly as Sakura seemed to shrink in on herself.

"Naruto..."

"fuck off..."

"!"

"You giving me lip?!1?!"

"THAT'S IT!" Sakura shouted as she hit Naruto, who went flying into Neji's tent.

"OI!" Hinata shouted in an overly deep voice.

"What?!" Sakura shouted angrily.

"Grand Theft Auto four is over rated."

"What does that have to do...?" Sakura said before she was interrupted.

"YOU CAN TALK!" Hinata shouted, wide eyed.

"..." Sakura just went silent.

"..." the silence continued as Hinata continued to stare into her soul.

"I'm leaving..."

"GINGERS DO HAVE SOULS!"

"I don't care!"

"Heartless bitch..."

"Whatever!!" Sakura said in a huff as she went to help Sasuke up.

"Hiya Neji! So... howdya loik dem mudkipz?" Naruto asked once again. There came an angry yell as Neji decided to beat him up.

"Fine! You're not a fan of Pokémon! But is your only form of retort physical violence? You're such a douche..." Naruto said as Neji literally kicked him out of his ruined tent.

"GET OUT!!" Neji shouted as he tried to repair his tent.

"SQUAD SQUID SALSA! PREPARE TO FIRE!" Naruto said as he and Hinata fetched their ladles and gravy.

"AIM!" Naruto shouted as the two aimed.

"EEP!" Neji shouted as he began to run.

"FIRE!!" Naruto shouted as the two began their assault upon the Hyuuga branch member.

"You're such a dick Naruto!!" Neji shouted as he ran for his cleanliness.

"What about me, eh Neji!?" Hinata shouted as she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"You're a!... you're a!... you're a VAGINA!!" Neji shouted in rage.

"lololololololol" Naruto and Hinata repeated as they continued to chase the now slightly more irritated Hyuuga.

"Ok everyone, let's set off." Kakashi said as he had healed from his pass out.

"But what about Naruto and Hinata." Lee asked.

"Gee whiz did I really forget all about them?" Kakashi said in sarcasm. "Get moving, if we're lucky they'll become nuke-nin." Kakashi said as the group hurried to packed their things.

Suddenly an axe broke through a tree.

"Heeeeere's the-main-protagonist!" Naruto said in a rush as the group screamed.

"Calm down... I mean really, was that necessary?" Naruto asked as he shook his head.

"Where's Neji?" Sasuke asked.

"Where's my cow?" Naruto asked.

"THERE WAS NEVER A COW TO BEGIN WITH!! THE COW IS A LIE! IT'S FICTIONAL! IT'S ABSTRACT! AHAHAHAHA! THERE'S NO COW! THERE'S NO COW!!" Kakashi said as he went a little insane.

"The cow died..." Hinata said sadly.

"Moo moo?" Naruto asked sadly, tears threatening to fall.

"Seriously, where's Neji so we can go."

"I sexually assaulted him with Dango sticks..."

"That's NOT funny!" Neji said as he appeared from the undergrowth, he appeared to have been smothered in peanut butter.

"Neji..." Naruto said reaching into his pocket.

"What?!" Neji asked angrily.

"Guess what time it is..." Naruto said, grabbing a knife and stabbing it into a jar of something.

"Oh please... no..." Neji asked as he began to lose his humanity.

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Naruto and Hinata sang, flicking dollops of jelly at him.

O

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**Well... I'd like your opinion, can you tell me if i should go for a more offensive feel to the story? I mean, in some retrospect i don't want to offend anyone, and then again i also want to entertain, and in the modern age, comedy revolves around offensive insults, behaviour, and innuendo's.**

**So, should I move along with the modern age, and become an offensive moron (I'm not talking about hate crime or anything like that, I just mean things you wouldn't say or do in public.) or should i go retro, and do some guy falling over a banana peel (yeah right... -.-)**

**I only ask because I don't want to get my account flagged, and then banned because I did something "offensive" (cry me a river, it's human nature) to the public.**


	6. Squid Ink?

**Pairings: NaruHina SasuSaku ChoIno ShikaTema NejiTenten KibaOC KakaAnko JirTsu ect...**

**This will be very random, maybe so random that you'll all be like O_o did I just read that?! Anyway, the plotline is small, don't expect an epic story. Crack fic.**

**Title: TUAOA: Naruto: Random Series**

**Book: lol**

**Chapter: The prospect that a squid squirts ink is absurd!**

**!Important note at the bottom!**

"So, a squid walks into a bar, right" Naruto began as the others surrounding him listened in.

"Right" Hinata nodded as she listened intently, stroking a freshly cut half moustache.

"He looks left, then he looks right, then he dies."

"Why did he die?" Hinata inquired as she burned the shivering moustache.

"Nobody knows... the story is as old as the 'why are we here?' question" Naruto answers sagely. Making Hinata's eyes go wide.

"He died because there's no oxygen! " Neji huffed as he grew a tick mark.

"Nothing but the squid!"

"Everything but the squid!"

"Singular squid!"

"Multiple squid!

"Prolonged squid!"

"Heavily damaged squid!"

"Aggravated squid!"

"Anticipated squid!"

"Foreign squid!"

"Alien squid!"

"Half a squid!"

"NO! a FULL squid!" Hinata shouted as she raised a full squid high in the air.

"You know, the squid jokes are getting a little old... your act is becoming tireing..." Kakashi spoke as Hinata stroked Naruto's chin.

"He is right, we must save squid jokes until they are appropriate... if not, then they will become unfunny, and that just won't do." Naruto concluded.

"Agreed; now where did i put my sandwich SANDWICH?!?!?!1?one!" Hinata shouted as she punched Sasuke in his unaware face. As this happened an enflamed USB stick happened to fall from the sky, before imploding beautifully.

"NUUUUUU! Removable hard drive-Kuuuuun!!" Naruto said as he watched the item implode on itself.

"What's a removable hard drive?" Lee asked as he watched the item become nothing.

"What's with all the questions Lee?! Do you fancy me or something?!" Hinata asked as Lee raised one of his MASSIVE eyebrows.

"What are you talking about?" Lee asked as Hinata glared at him.

"You sick perverted little creep... you do not disserve a WRIST WATCH!!" Hinata shouted as she removed Lee's wrist watch. Lee began crying into Gai's hairy chest.

"YOUTHFULNESS!" Gai frothed from the mouth in an exaggerated yell.

"I t-tried to be youthful Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted but was backhanded from a squealing Gai, still frothing from the mouth.

"WREEEEEEEE!!" Gai yelled, before going cross eyed and collapsing in on himself.

"Ahaha Lee loves Gai's THROBBING manhood lulululul" Naruto interfered.

"Shut up Naruto! I do not! Now stop interrupting our youthful displays!"

"That depends on what you see as youthful, I honestly don't see an elderly man wearing tights' and  
kids clothing, whilst caressing a look alike child of himself youthful, but i guess that's just me, huh?" Naruto said as Lee's eyes bore into Naruto's, challenging him to say it again.

"Sakura-Chaaans hair looks like a lollipop! Can I lick it?!" Hinata asked as Sakura shook her head, confused as to why anyone would want that.

"Nyeeeah!" Hinata shouted.

"W-what?" Sakura asked, a little freaked out.

"Ramirez!" Hinata shouted, pointing at Sakura.

"What did you just call me?" Sakura asked more confused.

"That is your new name! Ramirez... and you shall be my Ramirez, forever and ever... and if you leave..." Hinata's eyes flashed in a psychotic way. "Then i'll KIEEELL YOU!" Hinata said as Sakura gulped.

"Hey Hinata!" Naruto shouted, breaking the atmosphere.

"Yeah?!" Hinata shouted as she twisted around.

"Want to have an EXTREME segway race?!?!?!" Naruto shouted, bringing out two segways.

"sure!!" Hinata said as she put on shin pads, a helmet, a jaw protection device, and many other forms of protection.

They waited a few minutes, reving their engines, before they were off!

The two were neck and neck! Hinata lost a few milliseconds running over a branch but soon she had caught up. Naruto shouted out in fear as a pile of excrement lay mere minutes away from his path line.

Naruto had to think fast, what was he to do?! He decided that he could try to knock Hinata out of the race before he collided, so with his quick actions, he managed to bump into Hinata, who had seen him coming and did the same.

The two had fallen from their viechals and were sprawled out in a hunk of flesh and rubble. The race had ended. None had one. The message behind this race is, don't fuck about on segways. They're teh evilness! D:{

And explosion of fire suddenly followed after the crash. A hellfire of extreme heat flowed around the area, allowing no aid to be given to the two stuck within.

The crickets had already begun the funeral, it was presumed that the salmon would play the piano, while the hedgehogs would ser e out food to the relatives of the two.

But before any of this could happen, Naruto and Hinata leaped out of the fire and landed on Sasuke. Who had expected no less of him being beaten at some point during that day.

"may that be a lesson to you kids at home" Naruto said in a lecturing tone.

"And what lesson did we learn Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked, patting a mango.

"Umm... don't eat raw squid?" Naruto answered.

"You see! Couldn't go without a squid joke for a single day!"

"Squid is for life, bitches. Squid is for life..." Naruto answered as the screen fades.

"Why don't i get screen time anymore?!" Choji asked.

"cause you suck..."

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**Well that chapter took a while. Can you tell I'm losing material? Well, help's always appreciated.**

**And from now on, in all my stories, i will be doing a little question answer sort of thing. Here, let me explain:**

**Users will send in a funny question, and that will have to be answered by the users next chapter. And of course, the three funiest answers will be displayed at the bottom after each new chapter. (if you still don't know what i'm saying, look up raywilliamjohnson on youtube, and think of the ending he always does.**

**I'll start the first question, which will be:**

"**How much do you like squid?"**

**Review your answers, and review your question which will be asked next chapter. Names on who answered and gave the question will be included. See ya!**


	7. Chapter 7

I'll be deleting every story from my profile in 1 weeks time, sorry but my tastes have changed and i use my name on forums way too much, i don't want someone to look up my name and track me back to this.

I still like Naruto and the stories I've produced, but in some parts it just makes me cringe, if you'd like to save the documents for your own use, please do so now, or if you plan on taking my story up for yourself, please tell me so and feel free.

Thanks for all the nice reviews over the years, i plan to still stay active, but i'd rather not have any stories up for friends to view.


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